She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
