you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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