i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
