How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
