I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize