If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
