So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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