i may or may not be watching the land before time
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
