I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
