If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
