he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
