i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well I can't set my house on fire every night
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
