Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize
