So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
