The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
