I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
