im drinking this country out of the recession.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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