Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
