I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
