I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize