i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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