so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
