Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
