wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
