I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
