Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
