Where is the hickey?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
