do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
