Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize