I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So what if is hockey, you donβt turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
