I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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