Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
...so i touched it.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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