and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
