I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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