there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
