K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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