Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
