this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
