The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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