Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
