I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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