well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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