yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
