I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
