Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
where are my eyebrows?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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