I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
