Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
