we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
