So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
