I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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