I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize