her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
