There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize