I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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