i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
