I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
