i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Randomize
