Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
