Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
