Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
