Non-Jews are for practice
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
