Where did you get a picture of my penis
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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